Day 115

Biggest shock came on the weighing machine. I am now 14 stone 12 compared with 16 stone 5 when I went in to Hospital. You can see why they wanted me to keep eating. As some of you have remarked, food plays a huge part in these entries. According to a chart the ideal weight for someone of my height is around the 12 stone mark. What is important is that I don't go underweight as given the shrinking stomach it would be difficult to put it back on without the use of steroids. We have taken much advice on diet and it seems the message is eat little but often. This is much easier to do at home rather than hospital where meals tend to get served at particular times. Today was a good day for food as I was able to finish what was on my plate. This shows Ev has got measurements about right.

I had a poor night. One thing this operation brings is a dry cough. I woke up having a bad attack of the cough. I wasn't sick or anything like that but it was a bit unnerving. The night did however provide a comedy moment. I woke up desperate for a wee. However I thought I was still in hospital and set off in the direction between my hospital bed and where the loo is there. I walked into the wardrobe door. I then wandered round in circles shouting that I couldn't find the toilet. Ev put the light on to let me see where I was.

Whilst in Hospital, I had probably too much time to think. Many of my fellow in mates had been there for 2 months or more with no date fixed for them to leave. Our house here in Ryde is quite a modest dwelling but I did wonder if I would ever see home again particularly after my heart problem on 8 August. That particular difficulty also brought home to me the question of my mortality. None of us goes on for ever of course. Is this the last I shall see of ward E8 of Southampton General? Other mundane matters come to mind. During my stay I managed both to dirty my pyjama trousers and wet the bed. The staff were very good about it. You suspect they see this all the time but for me it was humiliating.

The other thing that I shall always remember about Hospital is wires. Most of us were hooked up to machines of one kind or another. I must however comment about the staff. They were excellent. It is marvellous how far a combination of professionalism and good humour will take you.

But the message is that my first day back home has been a good one. There is still a mountain to climb but with Ev's magnificent direction I am sure we shall get there. Your messages of support have been and are being very helpful.