day 116

I would describe today as being somewhat testing.

I know that some of you are shall we say making me aware that unless I actually want to come to a sticky end, that if having more chemo makes that much less likely I need to consider it seriously. I would say that I am very aware of the issues involved and have been discussing them with Ev. Just at the moment I have recovered from vomiting back my evening meal. Right now therefore is not the time to make a decision on this matter. The appointment with the Oncologist is on 14 September. By that time I would hope to be in a better position both physically and mentally to decide. Having said that I am aware that those of you who have commented are doing so with the best of intentions.

As to the day itself, well I called at the newsagents today for the first time. Ev drove me round so I had only a short walk. The owner was talking to another customer about pet cemeteries which is I suppose a bit different. After that we went to a local farm shop. It was nice to be out and about looking at different scenery.

One thing I must remember is that until last Friday I was being artificially fed. My new digestive system will need time to bed in. Another thing is that my operation took place less than 4 weeks ago and therefore it is natural to feel tired. Continuing to take exercise is important but equally I must not overdo it.

I hope you don't think reading all this that I am feeling sorry for myself( I did have a better night for a start). In truth if I hadn't have followed the path for the last 4 months I can only guess what state I would be in. We carry on and shall see what tomorrow brings.